Testimony: Jodian Pantry – from rock bottom to victory

Gospel singer Jodian Pantry has weathered some fierce storms—but like gold tested in fire, she has emerged refined and resilient. In a heartfelt one-on-one interview with vlogger Sheena-Lyn Hanson on the Sheena Power Talk series, Pantry opened up about her most painful seasons—times that brought her to what she calls her “rock bottom”.

Pantry described hitting rock bottom as a deeply isolating place—a place of silence where all the noise of life disappears, leaving you face to face with your thoughts and, most importantly, with God.

“You really don’t know if you’re coming or going. You don’t know if you’re growing or reversing,” she said. “I thought rock bottom would be the end of me—but instead, it became the place where I found Jesus in a new way. He held me like a baby.”

She explained that rock bottom is uncomfortable but necessary because it strips away illusion. “You come to realise that you’re not in control of your life,” she said. “The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be. God approves what’s right—and what’s not. Period.”

Pantry openly shared that in the past, she made choices independently—especially when it came to relationships. She acknowledged her desire to live independently and her decision to choose a spouse without consulting God.

“When you make your own decisions in that area, you’re setting yourself up,” she warned. “You’ll end up in a bigger fight. And if you’re not strong—if you’re not a Jesus girl or a Jesus boy—you could die in that fight. And there may be no coming back.”

After her relationship ended, Pantry cried out to God, telling Him she had no more space in her heart for sorrow. “I said, ‘God, I cannot live like this. This cannot be my life,’” she recalled.

She questioned why she, someone who loved God and tried to treat people well, was facing so much pain.

“I said, ‘Master God, after all the good I do—how I love people—this is my payback? You’re just going to sit back and watch them knock me down?’”

For years, Pantry wrestled with low self-esteem. She often stood in front of the mirror, forcing herself to speak life over her brokenness.

“Coming out of brokenness takes more than prayer. Yes, pray—but you also have to talk to yourself. You have to look in the mirror and say things like, ‘This is not my place. I don’t belong here. I will not die here. I will not cry here.’”

She emphasised the importance of affirmation, of speaking positive truths aloud—even when your heart doesn’t feel them yet.

Drawing from her journey, Pantry gave a strong caution to those considering marriage: don’t do it unless God gives you a clear confirmation.

“I’m now in a situation where I’m stuck. There’s a big debate in Christianity about remarriage. And I’ve prayed for God to kill my flesh—because I don’t want to just run to the next man.”

She revealed that as of February 24, she had been single for four years. Though it’s difficult, she would rather not end up in a relationship that goes against God’s will.

“It’s hard when God doesn’t agree or confirm. You’ll end up like me—reluctant to date or move on—because you would rather not make another mistake. You would rather not blow up in God’s face.”

Though she now thrives in many areas of her life, Pantry confessed that self-love is still a work in progress.

“People see pictures of me looking confident and beautiful, but I’m not always comfortable in my own skin. I still struggle with how I look in my clothes. But I am confident that I’m not my past.”

She credits transparency as a strength and encourages others dealing with low self-esteem to take the first step – by having a conversation in the mirror.

“If you’re struggling, you can fix it. Start with a conversation in the mirror. That’s where healing begins.”