Annetta Bygrave is different from the person she was more than 20 years ago. Growing up and yearning for love, she looked for it in all the wrong places and admits that, at the time, she didn’t think she was worth much. After repeated abuse and hurt at the hands of men, trusting them was not an option.
Although she does not credit that mistreatment — including being raped while working at a bar in Spanish Town — as the reason she became a lesbian, she said she also did not actively question the path she was on.
Her journey into same-sex relationships began when a friend from her community told her she had dreamt that they were intimate. Bygrave said she was willing to try, and from their first encounter, she felt something take over her.
That relationship led to others, moving from one lesbian relationship to another, with Bygrave often being the aggressor. She openly confessed, “I was a woman beater”, and began dressing like a man.
At one point, she contemplated physically altering her body but did not go through with it.
Living between Jamaica and Tortola, she nearly married her partner on the small Caribbean island. For 20 years, she lived that lifestyle.
Today she is saved, sanctified, and fully committed to Jesus Christ. Bygrave credits her spiritual foundation to her aunt — the woman she calls ‘mother’ — who raised her in the church after her parents died when she was very young.
However, her aunt’s prayers were tested repeatedly. In her search for love, Bygrave became pregnant at age 14 and gave birth at 15. Three months later, she left the child with her grandmother and began working. What followed was a series of troubled relationships, eventually leading her into relationships with women.
Despite knowing the lifestyle Bygrave was living, her aunt never stopped praying for God to change her.
A turning point came when Bygrave developed serious back problems and had to undergo surgery in Jamaica.
“I never told myself that this was the wrong life for me,” she shared with Freedom Come Rain. “I never came to that conclusion. I was so deep in it that I almost got married.”
In 2016, however, she said everything began to change.
While wearing long locks, she recalled feeling compelled to cut her hair during one of her visits to Jamaica.
“It wasn’t me wanting to cut my locks,” she explained. “My whole body felt like something heavy was on my head. Something just told me I needed to cut them. For no reason, I sat in the chair and cut my locks.”
She linked that moment to a previous altercation with a former partner, during which one of her locks fell out. She believed it had been taken and spiritually planted to harm her. For nearly a year, she suffered unexplained headaches, which stopped after cutting her hair.
After returning from Tortola, she decided it was time to go back to Jamaica for surgery. Even then, she noticed a shift — she no longer desired a relationship.
When she returned to Tortola and the woman she had been living with, Bygrave sensed something was wrong.
“The feeling I used to have wasn’t there anymore,” she said. “I had no desire to be intimate, no desire to live with a woman. We tried to force it, but the [point] I was coming to, I didn’t even touch her.”
She described feeling watched and overwhelmed with shame.
After her surgery in Jamaica, she said the Holy Spirit prompted her to return to church.
Although she grew up in church, Bygrave admitted she did not truly know God.
“I knew there was a God, but I didn’t know who He was,” she said. “People talked about God, but I didn’t know Him.”
She returned to church with her sister, and the pastor preached on bitterness — a message she says changed her life.
She went to the altar, where, instead of praying, a woman placed her hand on her stomach and told her, “You are going to lead many people to Christ.”
“I went for prayer about bitterness, and she started prophesying,” Bygrave recalled.
The woman also removed a guard ring she was wearing, telling her it opened many things, and placed it on the rostrum.
“That was the turning point,” Bygrave said. “From there, God started dealing with me.”
She described subsequent spiritual encounters, including being led to remove all her piercings. She said it felt like dying and being reborn.
Bygrave was later baptised and returned to Tortola, where she ended the relationship.
She has not looked back. Despite challenges, she remains committed to her calling and her faith.
Today, Bygrave is married to the love of her life, a man she met in church. Her message to those who believe they are too broken to be restored is clear:
“God never throws away anybody. Don’t let anyone tell you that God doesn’t like you. You can make up your mind, talk to God, and say, ‘God, forgive me,’ and He will.”
