Adette is Pastor Ronald Alexander Mitchell’s dream girl – quite literally!
In an interview with Freedom Come Rain Newspaper, Pastor Mitchell revealed that God showed him his future wife in a dream long before they ever met. He was told that the woman in the dream would one day become his bride.
And when he finally laid eyes on her, he knew exactly who she was.
Their paths crossed in 1989 in Portland, where Ronald is from. Adette, a singer, was on stage rehearsing for a concert scheduled for that evening when Ronald walked into the venue.
“I was coming from work, and she was standing on the podium, rehearsing for the concert. And as I walked in, I saw her. The features came right back to me, and the voice. Standing around the podium,” he recalled.
One look was all it took. Ronald knew he was looking at the woman he had seen in his dream.
There was, however, one rather significant problem with the heavenly vision: his future wife was not particularly impressed with him!
“I could not stand him. I thought he was too short, and I didn’t like him,” Adette confessed with a laugh.
In fact, Ronald had already made an impression – albeit not a favourable one – before they even met properly. He had given a mutual acquaintance, who was attending Bethel Bible College with Adette, a photograph of himself with a message declaring that Adette was his future wife.
When she received the photograph, she almost threw it away. However, she recalled hearing a voice telling her not to.
At the time, Adette was also getting to know someone else on campus and had absolutely no interest in starting another relationship.
Having been raised by her adoptive mother after losing her adoptive father at a young age, she was determined to make the most of her education. Life had not been easy, and she wanted to graduate, improve her circumstances and help her family. College was serious business. Romance was not.
When the dean advised against relationships on campus, Adette made the difficult decision to end the relationship she was involved in at the time.
That unexpectedly created an opportunity for Ronald to enter the picture. Not that she was eager to welcome him!
“Me never love him,” she said, laughing.
As Ronald patiently pursued her, Adette continued to say no. Again and again.
“I only loved him as a brother,” she recalled.
Meanwhile, Ronald was demonstrating the kind of patience that would later serve him well in ministry.
As they spent more time talking and studying together, Adette began noticing qualities she had previously overlooked. She saw maturity, dependability, kindness and, perhaps most importantly, consistency.
Still, she wasn’t entirely convinced.
“I kept waiting to get the same dream he got,” she said.
The dream never came. But something else did. One day, after praying honestly, she told God that if Ronald was truly the right person for her, He would have to change her heart.
“Because I didn’t love him,” she admitted.
To her surprise, that is exactly what happened. Before long, she found herself wanting to spend more time with Ronald and missing him whenever he was not around.
“I started loving Ronald so much I didn’t want him to leave campus.”
The woman who once struggled to see him as anything more than a friend was now falling in love with the very man whose photograph she had almost discarded.
Now married for 35 years, the Mitchells have a few valuable lessons to share about what it takes to sustain a marriage. Both agree that communication is essential, while keeping God at the centre of the relationship is non-negotiable.
Their journey has not been without its challenges. Adette recalled that in the early years of their marriage, Ronald was a scoutmaster and frequently spent Saturdays volunteering, leaving her at home with their young children.
“There were times when I wanted him there and him gone scout,” she recalled.
Thankfully, a conversation helped resolve the matter.
“He listened.”
That, she says, has been one of his greatest strengths throughout their marriage.
“He listens, and he makes changes.”
The sacrifices have certainly gone both ways.
Years later, when Adette decided to return to school to pursue further studies, Ronald stepped into the roles of chief cook, chief chauffeur and chief childcare provider.
For three years, while she lived on campus pursuing her education, he remained at home caring for their four sons.
He washed, ironed, cooked, packed school lunches and managed the household, ensuring that everything continued to run smoothly.
And it seems his efforts paid off. Today, all four sons can cook for themselves – a skill they clearly inherited from their father!
Their togetherness is also reflected in the little things they do for each other. Whether it is purchasing a drink or sharing what they have, they have maintained a simple but meaningful practice: if one gets something, the other is included. And if there is only one, they share.
When asked about their favourite memories, the couple had some interesting stories to share.
For Adette, one particularly memorable moment happened before they were married.
At the time, Ronald was still in school, while another young man who had caught her attention had already graduated. She briefly contemplated pursuing a relationship with the other person.
Ronald was visiting Portland when Adette called and told him she needed to speak with him.
Immediately sensing that something was wrong, he got straight to the point and asked whether she had found someone else.
They arranged to meet in Mandeville, and Adette still remembers the look on his face as he approached her.
“He was walking towards me looking so stern,” she recalled, laughing. “I changed my mind before I even told him what I was planning to say.”
Apparently, one look at Ronald was enough to make her abandon the conversation!
The other relationship never materialised. Years later, Adette would learn that the young man had left a trail of broken promises behind him.
Looking back, she believes God was protecting her.
Ronald, meanwhile, simply believes he got there in time!
For Ronald, one of his favourite memories was the day he finally approached Adette’s family to ask for permission to marry her.
Knowing that Adette might not be entirely receptive if she knew his real intentions beforehand, he devised a rather clever strategy.
He told her he wanted to know where she lived in case she ever became ill and he needed to find her.
It sounded innocent enough.
However, once he arrived at the family home, he went straight to her mother and asked for permission to marry her.
Her mother, clearly excited by the unexpected request, immediately called out to the kitchen.
“Betty, you love Ronald?”
Adette nearly dropped what she was preparing.
“Why was she asking me that?” she remembers wondering.
She had absolutely no idea what was happening!
Fortunately for Ronald, the answer was yes.
Thirty-five years later, the couple are still building memories, sharing life’s responsibilities and looking forward to new adventures.
One item firmly on their bucket list is a trip to Aruba, as Adette has a love for travelling. Ronald is looking forward to taking his wife on that adventure and exploring other destinations with her.
