By Cecelia Campbell Livingston
Life coach, motivator and author Beverley Walters is now at a place where she can look back at her life and reminisce on all that it took to be where she is now.
Sexually abused and having to survive on the streets, Walters started experiencing trauma at a tender age, and this, she said, made her regret the day of her birth.
She experienced additional suffering as a result of having sexual relations with three different men in her community, one of whom was a family member. She was unable to disclose this to anyone due to threats from her abusers.
“For nine years I carried the burden of being sexually abused, and out of fear, I never told anyone,” she shared with Freedom Come Rain.
There seemed to be no end to her suffering, but fate intervened when the family member abusing her was caught in the act. However, her relief was short-lived, as she never got justice. Her perpetrator was the sole breadwinner, so he was never punished. It was a blow to Walters, who was now 14, and she confessed feeling betrayed and hurt.
It was like she was the one being punished for his action, as she was being moved from one family’s house to the next. People in the community believed that she was rebellious; others even thought she was mad.
“Feeling unloved and misunderstood, I was left with no choice but to run away from home.
I felt lost, as if I were in a world all by myself. I didn’t know what love felt like, and because of all the trauma I suffered, I grew up an unhappy child. I started to perform poorly in school. My grades dropped. I was wetting my bed and became aggressive and abusive towards my peers and siblings,” she shared.
Her life continued on a downward trajectory when she returned home. Her abuser didn’t want her there, and her guardian took her father to court for child support and rented a room for her to live in.
She bounced around for a while in what she called an unstable period until she got accepted into the National Youth Service programme, where her life began to change.
However, that, too, had its challenges because initially, her application was rejected because she did not have the required subjects to take part in the programme. Walters was determined to make the grade, and so she tried until she was finally accepted.
“During the training at camp, I tried to fit in, but nightmares and reflections paralysed me. I couldn’t sleep at night. I was so afraid to close my eyes and drift off to sleep. This kept happening until a resident nurse on camp took notice of my behaviour. She tried to reach out to me, but I was too afraid to talk to her, so the officers of the programme recommended that I see a psychologist for six months,” she said.
Diagnosed with a mental imbalance with a prescription following, Walters resisted taking the medications as she said she had no confidence in a Bellevue psychologist prescribing anything to her, and besides that, she didn’t think she was mad.
After completing the NYC programme, Walters ended up being placed in her community for three months. That didn’t work out, as there was just too much baggage from her past. She eventually went to stay with a friend in Clarendon.
Her job search took her to Montego Bay and another friend.
Finally, an advertisement in the Gleaner made her think she had the perfect opportunity. Instead, it was a trap that led to human trafficking, exposing her to prostitution, lesbianism, exotic dancing, drugs, and doing ‘degrading’ things. In a strange way, she said she derived some sort of love from the activity, which saw her engaged in it for 12 years.
“I also travelled to other Caribbean countries and living that lifestyle, spending all my money on clothes, hair, makeup, and other such things. I believed that there was no hope because I told myself I was going to hurt and use every man in revenge for what had been done to me,” she said.
Her lifestyle didn’t fill the void, and soon she started feeling uncomfortable. Her early days in church saw her wanting more.
During a youth crusade at her former church, Eastwood Park New Testament, Walters met Bishop Letitia McPherson in 2003, who spoke a prophetic word over her life, saying I should ‘live’ because at that time she shared that she was thinking of committing suicide,” Walters confessed.
She said the two bonded, and even when she was out in the world, she would encourage her via text messages, always ending with “come home”. One day, Walters decided to obey and totally walked away from her sinful lifestyle.
“In 2013, I took the bold step and went home. After I got home, I remembered going to church on a Saturday evening at a back-to-school concert, dressed in my skimpy clothing and with rings all over my body. I stood far outside the building while the dance group was ministering; dancing was my passion. I observed the group as they ministered, and while I stood there, minding my own business, I felt someone touch me on my shoulder and say, “Bev, the bishop is calling you.” At that moment, I felt something shift inside of me, and I said to myself, “Why would she be calling me when I was not dressed properly?” Even though I felt that way, I found the courage to go to her,” she shared on the details surrounding her surrender.
The bishop told her in no uncertain terms that sin was ugly in her and immediately embraced her. It was then that she said she felt something heavy lift off her, and the tears began to flow.
“She used her hands to dry my tears, then looked me in the eyes and said, “Welcome home, my daughter. It wasn’t easy going home after all the mess I had gone through, but I was in a position for this season of my life to go home,” she informed.
Now a life coach, Walters said she made the decision because she wanted to inspire, impact, and empower individuals who feel like they are living their lives without meaning and desire to live more purposefully.
She stated that she believes there is so much more that needs to be unearthed in every individual, and her passion is to help individuals succeed in every area of their lives.
“I work with professional women who desire to build their confidence so that they can develop the courage to overcome past hurts so that they can win in life to fulfil the desire of their hearts. I am on a mission to pursue my dreams,” she revealed.
Walters also chronicles her life’s experience in the very inspirational book Destined For Purpose: Finding the Courage to Use Your Brokenness For God’s Glory, which can be purchased on Amazon.