Sacrificing for her children was worth it says mother of three
Today, Claudette Anderson can relax and enjoy the success of her children – Teneisha Anderson-Stewart, 32; Lushwana Anderson-Stewart, 29; and Trevor Stewart, 26 – and the sacrifices she made to ensure they had a fighting chance to live their best lives.
As a young mother, she made the difficult decision to walk out of an abusive marriage as she fought not just for herself but for her children as well.
For a long time, she tried to hold everything together, believing that maybe things would change or improve with time. But she admits that deep down, she knew that staying was causing more harm than good, not just to herself but to her children.
“The turning point came when I looked into their eyes and realised they deserved so much more than to grow up in a home filled with fear, tension, and pain. Not making my kids victims of that cycle was the thing that pushed me to leave,” she shared with Freedom Come Rain as she acknowledged that it was the hardest decision she ever made but also the most necessary – choosing to become a single mother, fully committed to raising her children in a healthy and nurturing environment where they would feel safe, valued, and loved.
That decision didn’t come without its challenges, as there were so many unknowns: financial insecurity, emotional exhaustion, and the weight of doing it all alone, but she knew that peace was more important than pretending everything was okay.
There were those moments too when she was afraid, worried whether she was enough, whether she could meet all their needs and still carve out a life for herself. But she said those fears were quickly overshadowed by purpose.
“Every step I took from that moment forward was rooted in the belief that my children’s futures would not be defined by the trauma we left behind. I wanted them to see strength, to understand self-worth, and to grow up in an environment where love and respect were not only present but constant. That decision changed everything, and it became the foundation for
the woman and mother I am today,” she noted.
The first time she became a mother, she described it as the ‘most humbling and empowering moment in her life’. She was young, filled with ambition and determined to create a better future not just for herself but also for the little life she was now responsible for. It was that same feeling that guided the decisions she made throughout their growing-up years.
Now that she has successfully navigated their path to adulthood, Claudette looked back on the experience as she recalled the balancing act she had to do. She said they were her driving force, and that gave her the strength and determination to create a stable and nurturing environment for them while ensuring she could provide for their future.
“I was fortunate to land a very good job that offered financial stability, and with that came the ability to make decisions that would allow me to be there for them while still pursuing my career. One of the most important choices I made was hiring a live-in babysitter/housekeeper. This allowed me to focus on my work, knowing my children were in good hands when I wasn’t home,” she shared, admitting that it was not an easy decision to trust someone with her children, but it was the right one. The extra support she stated gave her the freedom to maintain a steady career and continue to grow professionally, all while ensuring that her children had the care, attention, and love they needed.
“Even with the help, it was never easy. There were always sacrifices; time with them, moments I missed, but I made sure to stay connected in every way I could. I worked hard to make them feel my presence, to create memories, and to ensure they always knew they were loved, even if my work pulled me away,” she shared.
Doing it by herself saw her having moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and, as she described it, seeming like there just weren’t enough hours in the day to juggle everything. Between the demands of work, raising three children, and managing a household, Claudette revealed that the pressure often felt suffocating.
“There were times when I was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and the weight of it all seemed too much to bear. It felt like I was always running on empty, pushing through the days just to get to the next one. At times, I was frustrated and wanted to give up. There were nights when I cried constantly, but I made sure my kids never saw me in those moments. I cried in my room, cried myself to sleep, feeling like I didn’t know how I was going to make it year after year,” she noted.
However, no matter how low or how hard it got Claudette said she was determined to keep going as she prayed each night that they would never lack anything. Her love for them was stronger than her fear and challenges.
There were days, though, when Claudette wished she had someone to lean on as her support system – her immediate family was in Jamaica and she was in Canada. Her ex-husband’s family was never involved in her children’s lives, leaving her completely on her own; that reality hit hard for her.
Back then she had no time for friendships or relationships; every ounce of her time, energy, and focus was spent on taking care of her children.
“They were my world, and everything else took a back seat. I sacrificed my social life, my personal needs, and any chance at outside connection because I knew I couldn’t afford distractions. It was just me, doing everything I could to create a stable, loving, and nurturing home for them. The weight of that isolation was heavy, but it also made me stronger. I learnt how to depend on myself, how to manage everything from finances to emotional support to discipline. It was overwhelming, but it also gave me the resilience and courage to keep going, no matter how hard it got. I didn’t have a village, so I became the village for my children,” she revealed.
Faith over fears
Faith played a major role in Claudette’s parenting journey, as she shared that even when she felt overwhelmed, the belief that God would never give her more than she ccould bear kept her going. She did admit, though, that there were times when she questioned God but said she never let go of her faith that He would take her through.
Concluding that it was all worth it she recalled the pride she felt when her daughter Lushawna graduated with honours not once, but twice, from Western University: first in Criminal Law and then in Public Relations. She also received several awards at her graduation.
“Another unforgettable moment was when I turned on the TV and saw my eldest daughter, Teneisha, featured on Breakfast Television on CityTV, doing what she does best: cooking. Seeing her shine as a chef on national television brought tears to my eyes. And then there’s my son, Trevor Jr, who made me proud when he was identified as a “gifted child” and got accepted into the Ontario Bright Kids Association in Hamilton. Knowing that all three of my children are thriving in their own ways, academically, professionally, and personally, reminds me that despite the hardships, I raised resilient, brilliant, and kind-hearted individuals.
Claudette wants single mothers to know that “there will be days when you feel overwhelmed, when the tears fall, when you question if you’re doing enough. And in those moments, I want you to remember that it’s okay to feel vulnerable. It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. But also know this: you are doing the best you can, and that is more than enough.”
