Curbing my eating disorder

For years, I struggled with something I didn’t fully understand. An overwhelming craving for non-food substances. My cravings were strange and, at times, embarrassing, ice, marl (a type of clay), charcoal, dirt, chalk, power and even the scent of gasoline. I couldn’t explain it, and I didn’t dare talk about it. It wasn’t until much later that I learned there was a name for this, Pica Disorder, and that I wasn’t alone.

Pica is a medical condition where people crave and eat non-nutritive substances like dirt, clay, ice, chalk, and more. It’s often linked to nutritional deficiencies, especially low iron or zinc, but it can also be tied to stress, emotional struggles, or even cultural habits. Despite how common it is, Pica is rarely talked about, which can leave those of us who deal with it feeling isolated and ashamed.

But I want to break that silence. I want to tell my story because there is hope. Healing is possible even if you still have hard days.

When I Knew I Needed Help

For a long time, I kept my cravings hidden. I would chew on ice constantly, feeling the crunch soothe me somehow. I felt an intense desire for powdery substances like marl and even craved the scent of gasoline. I knew it wasn’t normal, but I didn’t think much of it. In fact, part of me believed it was just a quirky habit.

It wasn’t until I started feeling constantly exhausted, weak and even experienced issues with very low blood count and constipationthat I began to wonder if something deeper was going on. I experienced headaches, dizziness, and shortness of breath. Even simple tasks felt overwhelming. I finally went to the doctor, and that’s when I learned that my iron levels were dangerously low.

The doctor explained that Pica is often a sign of iron-deficiency anaemia and that my body’s unusual cravings were its way of trying to compensate for what it was missing. That was a wake-up call. I realised this wasn’t just a weird habit; it really was my body crying out for help.

Why I Chose to Accept Help

Honestly, accepting help wasn’t easy. There’s a strange comfort in habits, even unhealthy ones. I was scared of the judgement of others and afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop the cravings even with help. However, I knew that if I wanted to feel better, to have energy, focus, good health, and to continue helping others, I needed to make a change.

A full blood screening was recommended to find out exactly what my body was lacking. This highlighted severe iron deficiency and low zinc levels. My doctor prescribed iron supplements and recommended some changes to my diet. I also started working with a nutritionist who helped me create a plan to replenish my body’s nutrient levels naturally.

The Strides I’ve Made

It hasn’t been an easy journey, but I’m so grateful for the progress I’ve made. Here are some of the strides I’ve taken:

• Dietary Changes: I started eating more iron-rich foods like spinach, lentils, red meat, and fortified cereals. I also included zinc-rich foods like nuts, seeds, and whole grains. Hydration played a huge role, too—drinking more water helped ease some of the cravings.
• Healthy Alternatives: Replacing my cravings with safe, healthy options made a big difference.
• Instead of ice, I now chew on frozen grapes or chilled cucumber slices.
• When I crave salt, I snack on homemade salted nuts.
• For the crunchy texture I missed, I choose carrot sticks or roasted almonds.
• Supplements: Taking iron and zinc supplements, under my doctor’s guidance, was crucial in balancing my nutrient levels.
• Prayer and Scripture: There were (and still are) days when the cravings felt overwhelming, but God’s Word keeps me grounded. These verses became my anchor:
• Philippians 4:13—“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
• 1 Corinthians 10:13—“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”
• Romans 12:2—“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Do I Still Have Cravings?

Sometimes I do. Healing isn’t always instant, and there are days when I still find myself wanting ice and charcoal or feeling drawn to the scent of certain non-food items. But the difference now is I understand what my body needs. I recognise that those cravings are a signal, and I respond with care, not shame.

When the cravings hit, I pause and ask myself:

• Am I hydrated?
• Have I eaten enough iron and zinc today?
• Am I stressed or anxious?
• Do I need to pray and lean on God’s strength?

Taking that moment to check in helps me respond with love and patience for myself, rather than frustration.

Encouragement for Those Still Struggling

If you’re dealing with Pica, please know you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you; your body is trying to communicate its needs. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

• Get a blood test: Find out if you have iron, zinc, or other mineral deficiencies. Understanding the cause is the first step to healing.
• Talk to someone: Whether it’s a doctor, nutritionist, or counsellor, having support makes a huge difference.
• Replace, don’t restrict: Find safe, healthy alternatives that satisfy your cravings without harming your body.
• Pray and stay encouraged: God cares about your health and your healing. Take your struggles to Him and let His Word strengthen you.

You Can Overcome

My journey with Pica isn’t over, but I am so much further along than when I started. The days of chewing ice until my teeth ached are behind me. I’ve learnt to listen to my body and care for it with patience and grace. And even when the cravings creep in, I know I have the tools and faith to overcome.

If you’re still struggling, take heart. You are not weak, and this battle doesn’t define you. With knowledge, support, and God’s strength, healing is possible. Let’s keep talking, keep learning, and keep moving forward, one step at a time.

Isaiah 41:10 — “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Grace-Anna Baugh-Osbourne has been a devoted Christian for over 25 years. A wife and mother, she is also a Jamaican educator, pastor, counselor, and mentor with a passion for empowering others.