In March 2015 I experienced one of the greatest heartbreaks of my existence. My 10-year-old son Imani died in a freak accident. This experience would shatter my whole existence and break my will to live.
During the month of his death and preparation for his burial, I would have encountered the Lord in supernatural ways, where He would reveal to me that what I was going through wasn’t meant to kill me but that there was a purpose behind all this heartache and pain.
To fully understand God’s purpose in my life, I would have to start from the beginning. I was born in Spalding, Clarendon, Jamaica, where I spent most of my childhood. I had an early innate awareness of God and had an intuition that He had some plans for me, even though I didn’t know what they were. Although I was baptised in my childhood church while I was in high school, as I got older, I stayed away based on insecurity, bad decision-making, and not having a strong relationship with the Lord. This backslidden state found me in many friendships and relationships I had no business taking on, and would eventually leave me with a lack of identity.
My journey with God was just not pretty; it had its fair share of mess, but eventually, a few years after my son was born, I rededicated my life, and this time I was determined not to turn back anymore. Still, I was very lukewarm and had little appetite for the things of the Lord. I also would have experienced in that season many visions and dreams from the Lord about my purpose but I didn’t spend time praying about them.
There were many signs of spiritual warfare the week before Imani passed, but one thing that happened the night before will showcase how lukewarm I was. I remember getting up in the night to use the bathroom, and when I returned to bed, I heard an audible voice saying, “Pray, Bridgette! Pray!”
Any person who is in a serious relationship with the Lord would immediately adhere, but what I did still jolts me sometimes. I mumbled a little sentence or two to the Lord and went on my way to scroll WhatsApp.
This experience taught me that we really wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places – Ephesians 6:12.
Imani was my only child and after he died, the Lord would visit me nightly to speak to me about the pain I was enduring and the many plans that He had for me during this difficult time. This was one of the greatest experiences I have ever had with the Lord as He spoke words of affirmation nightly. While other voices came to condemn; God gave me Psalm 23 to silence the noise and accusations of the enemy.
It’s been almost 10 years, and the Lord has brought me through many dark days and unbearable nights. A long journey to healing, but He has put the broken pieces of my life back together with His promises, the main one being that my son is resting in His arms.
Now that God has delivered me from my grief, He has called me to minister His gospel and bring hope to many who have experienced grief, lack of identity, the consequences of lukewarmness, and many more areas that people struggle with today. Additionally, I am now a licensed minister in the Church of God and currently serve in South Florida.
The Lord also birthed in me Wave Ministries, whose aim is spreading the gospel for the purpose of saving souls and raising up strong, bold Believers. And recently, I authored the book, The Pain, the Purpose, and the Promise, which details my journey through the grief of child loss.
Surely, hitherto, the Lord has been my Ebenezer.
