“Surrendering to the rending”
Do you believe that God, in all His wisdom and love, has written a detailed story for your life? Do you believe He is good and does only what is best for you? What bearing does this have on your choices, desires, and expectations?
Last week, we continued the story of Sanaa and Kevin, a young Christian couple—in love and heading towards marriage, although her pastor is not convinced that they are God’s choice for each other. Everything appeared to be progressing well between them until James, the church’s new pianist, came along. Sanaa is the choir’s main female vocalist, and as she and James start spending more time together in preparation for a church conference, she begins to realise that her attention is shifting; the love she once thought was so solid was beginning to diminish…
A NEW LOVE HAD CAPTURED HER
The spark between them was really fading…
She tried discussing the Bible with Kevin, but he was not interested in a deeper relationship with God or spending quality time in the Word. He was happy with just attending church.
Sanaa wondered how this had previously escaped her attention; then she realised that she was the one who was really changing, not Kevin; she had been awakened to her need for more of God and desired deeper fellowship with Him; but Kevin was satisfied with where he was.
Sanaa’s leaning into God and growing intimacy with Him intensified the feeling of an increasing distance and pull away from Kevin. Eventually, they grew so far apart, it was painfully obvious she needed to make a choice. There was no room for her to maintain her relationship with God and still be with Kevin.
She recalled what Pastor Kim had said and found courage to end the relationship, which Kevin did not take very well. For several months, he continued to pursue her, eventually giving up and malicing her as he had become angry and bitter.
Sanaa’s perfect relationship had unravelled so unexpectedly and quickly, but she found solace in growing even closer to the Lord as she poured out all her issues to Him in prayer.
Now, her “new normal” was to have regular devotions alone, often sitting in her room reading the Bible and loving it! She developed this habit after her sessions with James and found that she had a better appreciation for the need for personal time with God.
DID JAMES KNOW?
By this time, James had been at the church for nearly a year and was appointed leader of the music team, which flourished under his stewardship. Pastors Tony and Kim were happy that he had relocated to their town and was now a valuable part of the ministry.
It was on an ordinary day when Sanaa and James sat chatting and laughing that it suddenly dawned on her that she not only enjoyed spending time with him but actually looked forward to it. She loved his devotion to God, his commitment to serving, and his sense of humour. He was so easy to be around, but he was certainly not her dream guy. She could find no fault in him, yet she knew he was not the one she would have picked. Nevertheless, she could tell that her affections for him had grown from friendship to something more, and this startled her. Sanaa was actually terrified; there was no denying it: she had fallen in love with James but could not tell how or when, and what scared her even more was that she was not sure how he felt about her.
“I was not expecting to feel this way about you, James,” she mumbled to herself.
Sanaa closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled ever so slowly as she tried to process all the emotions she felt from this seemingly startling revelation. She had been oh so very careful with her heart. After Kevin, she had just stopped desiring romantic relationships. She was focused on getting to know God (and by extension herself) some more, and, for the first time in a long while, she was even enjoying being single.
Her ‘perfect man list’ had certainly been adjusted since she had begun growing closer to the Lord. Was it because she had stopped scrutinising every man she met through its lens that this new love had been able to sneak up on her? She wondered.
Sanaa felt so out of her element and was beginning to feel somewhat angry…“But angry at who?” her heart asked. Upset, she started rummaging through her closet, throwing her usually neatly arranged, colour-coordinated items all over the floor as she frantically searched through several shelves. After a while, she threw up her hands in frustration as she wasn’t finding what she sought.
Then, she tried one last time, and there it was… the same place where she had always kept it…
FINAL INTERMISSION
Here lies the final intermission in the unfolding of this story. We hope it has been more than entertainment for you! While you wait for next week’s conclusion, meditate on this:
Following God requires boldness and tenacity. In the valley of decision, we must be fearless of any repercussion of our obedience. Never forget that your life is hid in Christ Jesus (Col 3:3) and so you will only find fulfillment in choosing His path for you. As you do this, like Sanaa you are guaranteed to find God faithfully strengthening and influencing you further into doing His good, pleasing, and perfect will.
Consider this, the difficulties you face resisting the will of God is far worse than those you face inside of obedience to Him. So, here’s a tip: Give God your yes!
And by His grace, see you next week!
Claudette Williams is a member of Passion and Purity, a school-based Christian ministry