Former homosexual shares transformation story
Rashad Vermé is now a transformed man. After living a homosexual lifestyle, he opened up in a YouTube interview with Eric Villatoro on Delafe Testimonies.
Vermé, who grew up in a Christian home and attended a Christian school, used to serve in the children’s ministry. Although he knew Jesus, he said he didn’t know Him for himself, neither did he have a true relationship with God.
At age eight he recalls going to hang out with one of his family members at their home; the show being watched was an American reality competition that features a drag queen.
It was his first exposure to anything like that, and it captured his attention. He recalled an elder came into the room and instructed them to “turn off the television.” The damage was already done as Vermé said he was curious and confused, and he recalled mimicking the things he saw on the show.
“I started stealing my little sister’s clothing; she was around the same age as me. She had little Disney princess dresses and all that stuff; I still knew that it was wrong [but] I didn’t have, like, a conviction about it, like a spirit-led conviction, because I wouldn’t say I was saved. I just went to church; I didn’t have a true relationship with God, but I knew that a boy wasn’t supposed to be acting like a girl,” he shared.
He said he would also steal his mother’s makeup and her heels and continued his mimicking; he eventually found the show on YouTube and started watching it in secret, deleting the history after he was finished.
It impacted him during his elementary school years as he was bullied for his feminine behaviour.
When they referred to him as gay, he remembered going to his father to ask what it meant, as he thought it involved wearing women’s clothes. He had no idea of the sexual aspect of it.
“These guys were calling me gay. I started already accepting that identity that I was gay even though I didn’t really truly know what gay was, so I remember asking my dad; he referred to the RuPaul show and said, ‘That’s gay,’ leaving him still without any real understanding.
At age 13, two of his peers introduced him to pornography, and while roaming the internet, he came across gay porn, and there the spirit of homosexuality started working in his heart. He admits to researching it more and getting even more caught up.
Vermé, who played a lot of sports throughout his childhood—football, basketball, swimming, and tennis—thought he could hide his sexual perversion behind those sports.
At 17 he got involved in a ‘downlow’ secret homosexual relationship with two males who later transitioned to females. Although he took part in the activity, he said he would feel disgusted as he knew the Bible’s stance that it is a sin.
After going to college, he was out of his parents control and the influence of a Christian home. He continued his sinful lifestyle, even having a girlfriend as well. He started drinking and struggling with confusion.
His girlfriend had no idea of his homosexual involvement. In trying to maintain the two lifestyles, Vermé said he went into a deep depression and anxiety as nothing seemed to bring him peace.
It was during this time, September 2020, that a friend of his mother, “a spirit-filled woman of God” who was a prophet, gave him a call. She told him that the Lord revealed to her that he was going to be a preacher of the gospel.
He remembered thinking, “That’s just cliché Christianity; I’m going to be a preacher of the gospel, and she doesn’t even know what I’m doing behind closed doors.”
Her words went over his head as he quit basketball and got even deeper in his lifestyle, even having the desire to have a sex change.
At the beginning of 2021, he said he started having thoughts like, “Rashad, you tried the drugs, you tried the sex, you tried the guys, you tried girls, you tried all these things, why don’t you try Jesus?”
On reflection, he realised it was the Holy Spirit talking to him, as he had no idea where the thoughts were coming from.
One day while lying in his dorm room, staring at the ceiling, he said a simple prayer.
“I said, ‘Lord, I know if I die tonight I have a free ticket in my pocket to hell, but the only way I’m going to serve you, Lord, is if you show me that you’re real because my mom says you’re real, my dad says you’re real, my pastor back home says you’re real, and everybody in my family pretty much serves you, Lord, but I need you to show yourself to me,” he shared, adding that he already knew if he became a Christian, he was going to have to give up the homosexual lifestyle, the fornication, the sinful lifestyle, and the pornography.
He told the Lord he would not do it unless He revealed Himself to him. A few days after that encounter—February 2021—he was with his friends, still dressed like a drag queen. When he went to his truck, he turned to the passenger side as he felt a presence in the vehicle.
“Boom! The Holy Spirit just struck me right there, and I literally lifted my hands in my car, and I said, ‘Lord, I give up the homosexuality. I give up the pornography; I give up the sinful lifestyle. I don’t want to live for the enemy anymore. You showed me that you’re real, and I committed my life to you, and that night in February of 2021, I gave my life to Jesus. It was just an emotional moment for me and the Lord.
God met him while dressed like a woman; the Lord’s presence was so strong that it brought him to a place of surrender, and Vermé heard the Holy Spirit clearly telling him he should tell his mother everything he did in his past. He resisted asking why, when the Holy Spirit told him he was going to receive a major breakthrough. He went back to his dorm and threw away every item he had that depicted the lifestyle.
He eventually got the courage to tell his mother when he dialled her number. He felt the Holy Spirit come over him. He started revealing everything he used to do even while living in her home.
His mother knew he and his sister were living in sin, as she had both their photos in a prayer room at her house that she would pray over.
He said she didn’t know how deep in sin he was.
She allowed him to vent for about half an hour to one hour; when he was done, she thanked him for sharing, telling him God was going to give him a major breakthrough for sharing.
Soon, Vermé felt a peace like he had never known; he said it was like the chokehold of the enemy was lifted; he broke all soul ties and was totally delivered.
Today Vermé is a husband, father and a preacher.