Mother whose child was a cutter, advises parents to pray
*Denise Morgan had raised her son in church and made sure he got everything he needed. So, she was confused, distressed, and felt a bit helpless when she first found out her only child was cutting himself.
She noticed that her son, who attends a prominent high school in Jamaica, became gradually reclusive and would spend hours playing video games in his room, but while that bothered her, it wasn’t until he started cutting that she decided to reach out to others for help.
“I didn’t realise right away. I used to see him wearing a bandage around his hand to school, and I would ask him about it. He gave me some kind of excuse. Finally, I started arguing with him about wearing a wrap around his hand and forbade him to go to school with the bandage on,” she said.
“I was shocked! I felt scared and, honestly felt helpless. A little bit of panic set in, and I just wanted to cry. How could my sweet, sweet son be doing this? There is nothing he has been denied; even to the extent of denying myself, I ensure he gets what he wants. I searched for a reason,” the mother told the Freedom Come Rain newspaper.
Her son told her he didn’t know why he was cutting himself. He told her he would just get an impulse to do it, and he even went as far as to describe it as fun and said it made him feel good.
“I sometimes wonder if it has something to do with the games he is into; if it’s a demonic attack,” she shared.
Her son refused to speak to a professional counsellor, so she had to find other means to help him.
“I spoke to about three teachers I knew he held in high regard, and they spoke to him without his knowing. I informed them about what he was doing. I also spoke to my good friend, who is more like a sister, who helped to give me some perspective so that I could deal with him better and interceded for him in prayer,” she said.
“I got a breakthrough when I just called him one day to lie down beside me. I hugged him, and we just started talking. I told him how his cutting affected me, that it hurts me and that I was scared I would lose him. He also shared a lot of stuff with me—things I didn’t even know he remembered from a bad time in his life when he was a child. We must have talked for about two hours, and I made him promise he would never cut himself again. He did. He has stopped wearing the bandage, and my search of his room and the bin has not turned up any more tissue or hand towel with blood,” she said.
Denise knows firsthand how emotionally draining it can be to learn that your child is cutting. She became fearful of leaving her son home alone. She would call and text him constantly to ensure he was okay, as she often wondered whether the cutting would one day become fatal.
She advised parents not to quarrel with their children if they realise they are cutting, as it is her view that they are just as confused as the parent.
“Try to enlist support from trusted persons. At the same time, don’t ‘advertise it, because at the end of the day, you don’t want to make a bad situation worse. Try to have one-on-one time with them; get away to a quiet spot if you have to. If they are not resistant, get them to talk to a professional. But most importantly pray, pray pray and trust God with the results,” she encouraged parents.
*Mother’s name was changed to protect the identity of the child.