By Cecelia Campbell Livingston
Thirty-four-year-old artiste and worship leader Keron Clarke knows firsthand the kind of commitment and sacrifice it takes to raise his son as a single father. He has learned some valuable lessons along the way, and it is an experience that, though challenging, he would not trade for anything in the world.
Saddled with the responsibility when his son was just three months old, he reflects on that period now that his son, Michael, is six.
“Thanks to my mother, who would assist me during the week with him, and I would pick him up on weekends, until he reached the age when he was able to go to school, then I would take him and keep him here with me,” he shared, while thanking God for his mother’s input.
Now that he takes care of him around the clock, Clarke said one of his challenges as a single parent is that he doesn’t like to cook, but he has learned to navigate that. The other was that he had to take his son everywhere he went.
“At first it was really fun travelling alone with my child, but as he got older, it became very difficult to take him with me because when he falls asleep, I am forced to deal with finding somewhere for him to sleep, especially when I have to go on stage. Other than that, I am enjoying it; you learn how to handle it,” Clarke shared.
Now that his son is six, Clarke pointed out that it has gotten more manageable, as whenever he has events, he can leave him with a trusted friend like his godparents or his grandparents in instances when he doesn’t have to go to school the following day.
Although Clarke and his son’s mother are on good terms, he said Michael doesn’t get to spend a lot of parenting time with her as she works out of town. Faced with that scenario, Clarke said he has to be more organised. These days he gets home from work, cooks dinner, assists with homework, and ensures that his son doesn’t feel left out because his mother is not around at the moment.
“You have to allow them not to even miss their mother; once that starts happening, you know that depression starts, and they start getting a little difficult to handle. For that, he says organisation is key, noting that you have to prioritise, learn how to say no, and stick with it. He stressed also that children are not stupid, so as a parent, you can reason with them and they will understand, no matter their age.
“Once you start talking to them, you break it down to a level that they will understand, and they will get it,” he stated.
As much as he is enjoying the journey, Clarke said at one point last year it was really tough, as he was in his final year of university and doing exams.
Trying to balance his time between assisting his son with homework, studying for his exams, carrying out his church duties, and other activities saw him having to do some ‘creative juggling’.
With Michael set to graduate kindergarten on June 26, Clarke informed with pride that he will be the valedictorian, and it is a very proud moment for him.
“He is very well rounded; he is intelligent, he’s smart, he’s intuitive, and he can be articulate when there is a need; however, he tends to not talk a lot, and I am very proud of that. I am proud of the fact that I can leave him and not be worried about what he will do, because he is a disciplined child,” he declared.
Looking ahead, Clarke said his dream years from now is for his son to say “Daddy did his best.” He said he wants his son to look at him and be proud. Clarke emphasized that he wants Michael to be successful, a man of God, and someone upstanding in society.
“I want my son to grow up and say, I want to emulate my father and just be an overall good person. My dream for my son is to see him be the CEO of one of the biggest companies in Jamaica. I want to see him become Prime Minister; I want him to achieve all his dreams,” were his impassioned words as he pointed out that he is trying very hard not to force his dreams on his son.
Reaching out to other single fathers, Clarke advises that they should just try to do their best and make sure they listen to their children. He also warns that they should not be too quick to find someone else to share the burden, as it doesn’t always work out. Citing his own life as an example, he said he tried dating someone, and she had a problem with him giving his son a lot of his attention.
“That was a major red flag for me.”
As a single father, you are never the mother; don’t ever feel like you are daddy and mommy; it is impossible to be that, you are only daddy, and daddy does his best. Sometimes, as a single parent, you are just forced to do a little bit more. Clarke also cautioned against badmouthing the other parent, as he noted that at the end of the day, the child is going to stick with the parent that they want to.
In conclusion, Clarke informed that having his son is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He recalled that there was a low point in his life when he felt like giving up, and he credits his son for giving him the will to go on.