Many years ago, there was a series of songs that served to tell an entire sinful saga. The main character had been caught in the act of adultery and he hid in fear of being found by the woman’s angry, suspicious spouse who had arrived home unexpectedly, bringing their time of “rendezvous” to an abrupt end. Of course, it served to excite and feed fleshly (sinful) desires and imaginations, but offered no hope, healing, and reconciliation, which are of God.
While this article is the namesake of the aforementioned song, it is written with a different motive in mind. Also, the main character was not trapped in a literal closet but the expression is a metaphor of the reality of the condition of his entire existence. Actually, it is the story of all: we’re all born trapped in the closet of sin until God sends His word by His Spirit to empower us to break free. Again, this ‘coming out the closet’ is not like that of this world where it is an expression of being emboldened in rebellion and a false sense of freedom. Instead, it is one of true redemption which is accessed through repentance when we realize that the salvation of Jesus Christ is the only true key to unlock the doors of our captivity.
It’s also important that as Christians, having experienced this “coming out,” we don’t become judgemental but have compassion on those who are yet to do the same. They really cannot help themselves. Matter of fact, if anyone could, then it would imply we do not need God or the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
PLANTING THE SEED
Let’s take the case of Nathaniel, an only child, raised by Christian parents who were proud of him and his academic performance. Unfortunately, he learned about sex from his uncle, who not only introduced him to pornography, but engaged him in illicit sexual activity.
Nathaniel still remembers the summer this uncle came to spend holiday with his family. At the time, he was about six years old and his uncle was nineteen. They played together a lot and he greatly enjoyed his company. Nathaniel recalls the day his uncle invited him to watch what he called “men who play naked,” which quickly became a regular habit, usually indulged in the absence of his parents. Eventually, during one of the times they were watching a movie, his uncle began to fondle him. At first, he thought the fondling was normal, but wondered why his uncle always chose when his parents were away and told him not to disclose what they did when they played. He would often remind Nathaniel that their playtime was their special secret that must be kept for the rest of their lives.
A few weeks after starting primary school, the young boy’s teacher spoke about “good touch and bad touch” and immediately, Nathaniel began to identify what his uncle practised on him was a “bad touch.” The teacher had told them that if anyone gave them a “bad touch,” they were to tell someone they loved, respected, and trusted. Nathaniel thought about reporting what was done to him, but remembered what his uncle had said. He had promised to get Nathaniel a bicycle for his birthday if he kept their special secret, and this caused conflict in the child’s mind and crippled his ability to make the right decision.
Upon beginning high school, again there was another voice of wisdom when the Guidance Counselor addressed the class about sex. She urged them not to allow anyone to touch them on their genitals or buttocks, and that they were to ensure they reported anyone who did so. She also encouraged them to focus on their school work and not be distracted by males or females. Immediately, Nathaniel remembered the moment he had received similar counsel years ago at primary school, yet he had not responded accordingly.
After his uncle migrated, they still communicated, and even though they never discussed their inappropriate interactions, Nathaniel never forgot and always felt guilt and shame remembering them. He became an avid sportsman who greatly enjoyed playing football and attended every match he could. This gave him a sense of relief. Through these activities, he also met the president of the community youth club, whom he deemed friendly and helpful until the day the president made a sexual advance at him. This changed their relationship and the atmosphere of his supposed solace.
GERMINATION
Although he was surprised that he had not found the president’s advance repulsive, when he did mention the incident to a few of his team members, he was shocked and upset to learn of rumours that he had a sexual relationship with the youth club president. The rumours even spread to his school, and resulted in him fighting a student who called him “a b- man.”
While this bothered the teen, he had deeper concerns, for he realised he was in a dilemma. He knew from what his parents and the Bible told him that homosexuality was wrong, but found he was beginning to be attracted to men, especially those who reminded him of his uncle.
His friends were beginning to be highly interested in girls and some were even sexually active, but Nathaniel found himself having little to no interest in girls; even becoming annoyed with those who repeatedly tried to get close to him. Constantly, he wondered whether or not this was the way he was born and whether the sexual encounters with his uncle had shaped how he felt about himself and his sexuality.
He was terrified of anyone finding out how he truly felt. At church he heard
sermons that spoke to the fact that homosexuality is a sin – against God, one’s self,
and the other person involved in the relationship. Furthermore, the school he attended had young men who were very hostile towards homosexuals. They laughed and jested about
guys that were “gay or funny” and it was popular to hear the term, “bun dem.” This
greatly offended him.
One night, Nathaniel watched the news and saw a man being beaten because he was caught in a homosexual act with his lover. These things played over and over in his mind. He knew his parents and friends would be shocked if they ever found out about how he really felt. Nevertheless, he knew he needed help, and so, in his desperation, he visited his school’s
guidance counselor who set a date for them to discuss the matter privately. At the appointed time however, Nathaniel wilfully skipped the session…
Why would he do this? We will discover next week as Nathaniel’s story continues to unfold.
This true story (partially amended to preserve identity) was written by Andrew and Donnette Norman, founders of Passion and Purity, a school-based Christian ministry. Commentary was added by Passion and Purity’s writing team.
