Pastor Kavan Allen from Fellowship Tabernacle notes that young people are dissuaded from pursuing marriage because of what they observe in the lives of married people. He says these observances result in young Christians coining a wrong definition of what marriage is and implementing them.
“I think especially in the church, we have not done a good job in marketing good marriages. So you hear a lot about the negatives of marriages, but we don’t talk about the successes of marriages. Good married couples are silent, but everybody feels and sees and hears the devastation of the negative things that happen,” he said.
As a marriage coach, he has also seen the decline and ultimate demolition of marriage and cites the lack of understanding as a contributing factor.
“Too many couples have come to the brink of divorce. I think we have to do a little better job with our men. A lot of our men don’t understand what it means to lead,” he explained.
“You also see women who are taking their directions from the world, so what a happy marriage is, is not necessarily what you see in scripture, but it is what you would see on Desperate Housewives or something like that, and so now they feel disenfranchised when that’s not their reality and these things are what define a good man.”
Pastor Allen believes that the church should engage in more training of young Christians in adopting the godly mindset towards marriage and in understanding their identity in marriage.
“I think the church has to enter a time where we are focused on teaching people how to have a good marriage and just sharing the joys of having a good marriage,” he said.
