By: Nadine Wilson-Harris
Online dating has given rise to romance fraud, an emerging multi-million dollars industry that one local psychologist says has left many Jamaican women devastated and embarrassed.
Romance fraud involves the feigning of romantic interest in someone to gain their trust and eventually access to their money. It is one of the dating dangers that counselling psychologist Andre Allen-Casey warns women about, including those in the church who sometimes lower their standards in pursuit of a suitable partner to marry.
“In my profession, I think that is the biggest clientele that I have,” Allen-Casey noted during a workshop on Family, Faith and Forgiveness at the St Andrew Church of Christ on August 12.
He said the fraudsters are generally very convincing as they manipulate their victims into spending on them. They are usually very generous with their affection and often go to great lengths to prove that their love is genuine.
“As a result of that belief, the victim is persuaded to send money, personal and financial information, or items of value to the perpetrator,” Allen-Casey explained.
The Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) noted that scammers may propose marriage and make plans to meet in person but have no intention to make either happen. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) found that $496 million was bilked from romance scam victims last year. This figure is believed to be way below the actual amount of money lost by victims, as both the FTC and FBI rely on what victims report to them.
Locally, the Jamaica Bankers Association (JBA) has sought to caution persons. In a television interview earlier this year, the chair of the anti-fraud committee at the JBA, Dane Nicholson, said they have received 10 reports weekly on average since February of this year. The victims so far have mostly been women, 18 years and older.
“They appear to be seeking love, but the ultimate aim is to deceive customers,” said Nicholson in explaining how the fraudsters operate.
Internationally, there have been several stories from victims documenting how the perpetrators stole their hearts and their money.
“The desperation is incredible. And we are seeing more and more victims threatening suicide, experiencing suicide attempts, and checking themselves into psychiatric facilities because they’re feeling suicidal,” Erin West, a deputy district attorney who heads the high technology crimes unit in Santa Clara County, California, told NBC News in July.
Allen-Casey said the female victims he has seen are generally distrustful of men and are questioning their faith because they feel God should have prevented them from being tricked.
“A number of them say bwouy, I feel like I could just die,” he told the Freedom Come Rain newspaper.
The situation is even more devastating when the victims are dealing with sextortion. This is a situation where they would have sent sexually explicit photos to the perpetrator, who then threatens to share them with others if they do not pay them.
“It’s one thing if they just break your trust and leave you. We are not talking about that. Romance fraud is where they want to blackmail you with something; you have to give them back something. So if you are in the church, [they will say] I am going to tell pastor that I have been sleeping with you, and since you don’t want them to tell on you, you continue to have sex with them or you continue to pay for something for them, or you have to mind them (provide for them financially),” explained Allen-Casey.
The counselling psychologist urged women to be more cautious, especially when pursuing online relationships. He noted cases where women have made themselves vulnerable by sharing inappropriate photos with men they have never met before in person. Although he feels it is possible to find love via the internet, Allen-Casey believes cases of online fraud can be minimised if individuals decide to maintain moral values and principles in their pursuit of a partner.
“They need to know what is it they are looking for in the relationship and whether or not they would need to lower their price in order to get admission. What value do they place on themselves? If they put a high value on themselves, do they give a discount because they want this thing so badly?” he asked.
Tips for Avoiding Romance Scams:
- Be careful what you post and make public online. Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.
- Research the person’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the image, name, or details have been used elsewhere.
- Go slowly and ask lots of questions.
- Beware if the individual seems too perfect or quickly asks you to leave a dating service or social media site to communicate directly.
- Beware if the individual attempts to isolate you from friends and family or requests inappropriate photos or financial information that could later be used to extort you.
- Beware if the individual promises to meet in person but then always comes up with an excuse why he or she can’t. If you haven’t met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious.
- Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone.
Source: Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)