Being a mother is never without its challenges, but some parents do face a bit more challenges than they would have liked.
Suzette Miller gave birth to her son Nicholas in December 2007. After months of hospitalisation from birth, she was hit with the news that he had cerebral palsy (a group of movement disorders that appear in early childhood).
While her husband and other relatives have been very supportive, her greatest motivation on her journey to caring for her son has been her utter trust and faith in the Lord. Although she has shed tears, Suzette has been reassured and strengthened when she needed to be by her Heavenly Father.
Since birth, it was a regular trek to the Bustamante Hospital for Children until Nicholas turned 16 and was transferred to the Kingston Public Hospital. That meant a lot of changes, including the fact that she had to resign from her job, as it would not afford her the time to take care of her son, who needed specialised attention, leaving the family with only one income. It was not a difficult decision for the mother of three since her husband supported the move to accommodate the many hospital visits.
“During the time when he was in the hospital, my daughter, she was going to primary school; she passed her exams and started high school. My son now – he was still in a basic school, and at one point, I had to take him out of school because I was at Children’s Hospital with him most of the time,” she shared, revealing that during that period they had just bought their home in Clarendon and didn’t know anyone that she could enlist to help.
With her daughter attending The Queen’s High School, it meant a lot of navigating, but with her husband working in Kingston, they were able to make the adjustments.
Suzette is thanking God for relatives who not only gave emotional support but financial support as well. Those were favours from God that helped to encourage her along the way.
There were times, though, Suzette said she got discouraged, “Yes, I did. I remembered one time when I came home with him from the hospital, and one night he was just crying, and I ended up crying too and saying, ‘Lord, I don’t know what to do,’ and then I started wondering if I had done something wrong to make my son be born with cerebral palsy,” she highlighted. She wondered if she could have done something else, if during the pregnancy she had done something wrong to cause him to be born that way.
She also recalled the day she was shaken from her negative thoughts. She said she was home, looking at him one day in the living room, and he just started laughing with her!
“And when he laughed, that was the first time he ever laughed. He was just about over a year old. It’s the first time I have ever seen him laugh, and I started to cry tears of joy. I cried so much that night,” she noted.
She also had another reason to be encouraged, as she distinctly heard the voice of the Lord: “You are not alone in this, you know? You alone couldn’t do all of this. You alone couldn’t do all of this. So I’m here with you,” and it was then she finally accepted that everyone had their own challenges and she could never see her son as a burden; he would always be her baby. At 18, she still sees him as that.
Sharing with Freedom Come Rain, she said her son taught her so much ab
out love and patience and has made her view life differently. She said he made her look upon life as not being hopeless. She just lives and deals with the different challenges one situation at a time.
Cognisant of the fact that there are mothers like herself dealing with situations that may be making them overwhelmed, she shared a word of encouragement with them.
“Stop worrying about the future and live for today. Because if you try to hurt your head with what’s going to happen next year or how you are going to manage or what, it’s going to drive you crazy,” she pointed out.
For Suzette, she just continues to enjoy time spent with Nicholas, revelling in the special moments and strengthening their bond. Doctors told her that because of his brain damage, he is not aware of anything. They said Nicholas would not respond to them or communicate, but she is so thankful she chose to believe the report of the Lord instead of their words.
“It feels good to know that when he hears my voice, he responds to me differently from anybody else. He also responds to his father in a different way from how he responds to me,” she informed.
This is not the first time Suzette has seen God make a lie out of the doctors’ prognosis. She confessed that they are still wondering how her son is still alive, as he had a bad liver infection. She again informed them of the real reason – God wanted him around!
She is encouraging mothers to love their children no matter what, with the understanding that the child is in their lives for a reason.
“Look at him; look at that child, and see the love will come from out of you what God gives you. Put everything in His hands,” she stressed.
Suzette said that at 48 years old, the one piece of advice she can leave with mothers today is to balance the discipline with love as she did. She makes her two other children know in no uncertain terms how much they are loved.
“I do not have any doubt in my head how much they would take care of their brother if anything happens to me; I can see how much they love him. So, mothers out there, just try to love your children, not because you have them. Make them know real love, not just discipline and all of that. Spend time with them.”