One day, my daughters and I were in an extremely busy supermarket trying to quickly get the items I needed. I wanted to be out of there as soon as possible.
However, what I didn’t plan for was that one lady who, just ahead of me, would take a full 15 minutes to complete her transaction!
Bless her heart. She was an elderly person.
The cashier had to assist her with the prices and sticking to her budget. We waited as she actually searched for the money in her handbag and then counted out her payment. Her eyes couldn’t see all the coins, and it was clear she needed help to calculate the money.
I tell you – it was SLOW MOTION! I’m not even joking.
And remember, I was in a rush to get out of there, and yet I just had to swallow real hard and wait and be patient.
I thought of my deceased grandmother and even my ageing mother, who claims her brain isn’t so sharp anymore (so she says when it’s convenient). Then I thought about how one day this may be my fate, and I would want a patient cashier and patient shoppers!
At Sunday School, there is an elderly and very fit lady (about 72 years old) who teaches the adult class. She really does a good job, and I have learnt so much from the interaction.
She shared a personal story of how a young person nearly hit her over while standing on the sidewalk one day; her glasses even fell to the ground as a result. The youth didn’t even look back to say sorry or ensure she was okay!
It got me thinking—as a society, how should we be caring for our elders?
THE NOT-SO-NICE ELDERS
Now before I get all mushy and sympathetic…
I know that some elders can be vindictive, cruel, controlling, and rude.
So, whenever an elderly person says, “Oh, I have 12 children, and not one of them helps me! I don’t even have any food…” I consider that a warning sign that perhaps they didn’t treat people so well in the past.
Have you ever gone to the hospital to visit someone? You ever notice that some bedside tables are overflowing with cards, flowers, and toiletries, while others are bare and empty? Why?
Dr Jen is asking: How would you like to be revered and remembered when you get old?
A WORD FOR YOUTHS
Young people, now you are full of energy and beautiful, with your whole life ahead of you, so you barely think about one day being old. Believe me, it’s coming. Some pert body parts will one day sag, and young, upstanding husbands today might discover they need something else that starts with V tomorrow. So, putting that into perspective – use your days wisely to impact people, near and far, for good. Be respectful and kind. Be patient, even though the elderly are slower or more miserable, or you think they are still stuck in the last century.
If they have good lives—family, spiritual, financial, etc.—learn from them, and most importantly, learn what NOT to do from them!
Remember, what goes around comes around… it’s called the circle of life.
A WORD FOR ADULTS
Oftentimes, you are the direct caregivers and providers for the elderly parents. Treat them well even if they are superbly annoying. Honour your parents because this is the only commandment with a promise. Be respectful and patient while being firm.
Don’t be a gold digger. I know there are some people who rally around elders hoping to get into their bank accounts and onto their will. Is Massa God sleeping? You seal your fate when evil things like these are pursued.
An observation I’ve made under the sun: don’t envy/“bad mind” the youth for their beauty, career, or relationships that you feel you yourself didn’t achieve or have lost. Go get your life in order if that’s what you want. Harbouring jealousy makes one bitter. Bitterness is dangerous. Let no root of bitterness spring up in you. One day, you’ll be old, and this bitterness will make you unloveable. Nobody will want to be around you!
Remember what goes around, comes around…the circle of life.
A WORD FOR ELDERS
The care and love your family and friends give you is coming from their hearts. Love and honour for all you have done for them over their lifetime or sometimes, just because they are good persons. Therefore, be grateful.
I know that you have aches and pains, you feel more miserable, are a little forgetful, etc., but try not to take it out on your loved ones. Try to cooperate, eat the food provided, don’t deliberately be difficult on the family.
By all means, play your part—offer your wisdom to the young and encourage others with your years of experience. Show them the lessons you’ve learnt over the years.
Remember, we automatically respect and think highly of you just by virtue of your age. We are happy to take good care of you just like you did for us when we were younger.You too must remember: what goes around comes around…the circle of life.
