One of my mentors always says, “the heart of the matter, is the matter of the heart.” Initially, I didn’t fully understand the magnitude of that statement. It simply means that the disposition of our hearts during any circumstance and/or relationship reveals where we are in our walk with God. He purposes every experience in our lives to teach us lessons, point others towards Him and strengthen our walk in Him. On the other hand, we tend to complain when God brings us into a situation because we have not discerned that He intends it to be a trial that produces Christ, in and through us. We must be sensitive to the reality that our spheres of influence and the seemingly mundane in our daily experiences are often the training ground for our maturity in Christ; and by extension our ministry.
For me, God revealed this through a situation at work. I was about to go off on vacation for about two weeks. Prior to that, my manager gave me a list of tasks to be completed before leaving. However, as it got closer to the last day, she kept adding tasks unreasonably. I could not accomplish them in such a short period. Nevertheless, before going on vacation, I completed as many as I possibly could, as well as followed the protocol of creating a handover document. This would serve as a reference for others to know what tasks were completed and what is yet to be actioned.
Lo and behold, on my return I was summoned to a meeting with my manager and a colleague because I left the team with my entire workload (which was not true). After the meeting, I felt completely depleted and unappreciated. A little time passed and they reported the matter to HR, and to make a long story short, HR and I had a “check in.” I explained what happened and the HR personnel was actually shocked about the approach that was taken and the things that were said (by my manager concerning the matter).
Justified in the sight of man? Most definitely, but from God’s perspective, I was wrong because my heart’s posture was completely off towards my manager. My heart was perturbed during the trial, and not once did I stop to consider God and what He wanted to do in the situation. I lacked love and compassion for the soul of my offender. I imputed all her trespasses to her and was not moved to work the ministry of reconciliation; not even to intercede in prayer. Being so focused on my feelings, vindicating myself and my reputation blinded me as to why God allowed me to suffer that situation.
What kind of example was I setting? Love is not easily irritated, and it bears all things. Pride was really blocking the love of God from flowing through me, and it distracted me from truly exemplifying Christ not only at work, but in every sphere of my life. With this epiphany, I humbled myself, acknowledged and repented of my fault in the situation not only before God but to my colleague as well, and my heart was moved to pray for my manager.
Again, God will always allow trials to come to show the true disposition of our hearts. At all times, we must see these trials as an opportunity be the light, and trust God to determine whom it will penetrate.
Oh, and guess what? God graciously turned it around. He fought my battle without me having to do much. In my quarterly appraisal, I was commended for my work and got high marks. But even if this didn’t happen, I would be contented knowing I pleased the Father in doing His will. My eternal reward is sure, and it’s proven that God always has our best interest in mind. Goodness is His character. All we have to do is to believe that, rest in Him and let Him use our lives as He pleases. It all starts with a surrendered heart.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
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