Men urged to fulfill their functions in the home
By Nadine Wilson-Harris
Males are expected to perform distinct roles in a household, but guidance counsellor Tracy Ann Taffe-Thompson feels the women’s liberation movement is among several factors that have contributed to males being inactive and unsure of how to function in families.
“For me, they seem like figures; not action figures, but just figurines. They are there; they provide; they give us women children, and that’s about it,” she said.
Taffe-Thompson, the immediate past president of the Association of Guidance Counsellors in Education, believes boys should be taught from early about their responsibility to themselves and their community. This will help them become well-adjusted adults.
“As a counsellor, I have to be empowering our men. They cry out that they are not being heard; they cry out that they are not being respected; they cry out that they are not valued,” she said.
Taffe-Thompson shared her views during the inaugural Freedom Come Newspaper, Freedom Talks forum, which looks at national issues from a Christian perspective.
“To break the trend that we’re on where the men or fathers are not feeling appreciated, give them the task to do. They want to work, but they are not used to working, so we have to give them tasks to do and support them and encourage them as they perform these tasks,” she appealed.
The counsellor encouraged women to create opportunities for men to apply the knowledge and strengths that they have been given by God and cautioned mothers against shielding their sons from being responsible. She feels that society too can play a part by acknowledging and celebrating men.
“At my school, we are observing International Men’s Day. It burns my heart over the years that we keep focusing on the women, International Women’s Day and there is little or nothing on International Men’s Day. So my boys are aware that not only do we celebrate the birth of the girls and the existence of the girls, but we celebrate you because you are important,” said Taffe-Thompson, who is a guidance counsellor at the St Aloysius Primary School located in downtown, Kingston.
Police sergeant, Howard Montaque has also taken note of the disparity between the treatment of males and females in society. He feels there is a need for more programmes and national policies to help to encourage our males to maximise their potential.
“There are a lot of males out there with some potential; you’ll be amazed, but guess what? There’s no avenue, there’s no channel, so they get not only disheartened and oftentimes just disoriented and just give up,” the lawman said.
Montague noted that there are several programmes that assist females to develop, and even insurance companies have special plans for women, but unfortunately, these initiatives are not extended to men.
“I am not saying that we are going to now forget about the females, because together male and female cause generations to continue and cause families to grow and so forth, irrespective of what is being perpetrated by the west,” he was quick to point out.
In assessing the mass migration of teachers from the classroom, the police sergeant believes it would be good to know the ratio of male to female teachers who have left the education sector.
“Based on the national statistics, the birth rate in relation to males as opposed to that of female, is almost equal, so we need to find a way to bridge the gap of teachers in relation to males and females. We need to find a way to get males to be be more a part of the system that contributes to national development as opposed to having them incarcerated or doing something else that is somewhat not productive,” he encouraged.
President of the National Parents Teachers’s Association, Stewart Jacobs, is concerned that an estimated 87 percent of the graduating class at the University of the West Indies has consistently been females over the last few years. He finds that males have been ostracised and left feeling that they do not have a part to play in society.
“What we are having now, is the male trying to find himself, and on the journey of finding himself, there are so many hurdles and distractions that he stops midway and becomes very comfortable in his space,” he explained.
“Our society needs to do a paradigm shift as to how it is we prepare our boys and our ladies also for society,” he said.
Meanwhile, Dr. Lorraine Vernal, who is the director for Women, Children and Adolescents Ministries for the Adventist Church in Jamaica, stated that the re-socialisation of boys will need to start from the home. She noted that the process will be challenging, but it is necessary. She is concerned too that men are also being the victims of abuse and advocates a zero-tolerance approach to domestic violence, no matter the gender of the perpetrator.
“I keep telling persons that we can’t find it funny when a man is being, you know, hit with a cutlass by a woman and the video is going around and, we’re finding it funny and we are sharing it and we are lauding this woman’s demise of this man,” she cautioned.