The failure of some men to instruct their sons has resulted in many boys growing up to be abusive husbands, indisciplined, lacking wisdom, and reckless on the nation’s roads.
This is the view of Pastor Nigel Holness, who believes the lack of a father-figure in most households is responsible for many of the social issues society is currently facing.
“No wonder we have men who can’t wear them pants on them waist because there was no father to instruct them that showing your underwear is not right; it is not a correct behaviour,” he told men during the Tarrant Baptist Church Circuit of Churches/Freedom Come Ministries International Men’s Conference at the church’s Molynes Road venue on Saturday, April 19.
“Where are the fathers to teach the sons how to behave correctly? Why do you think so many of our marriages are messed up? Because as a young man, we don’t see a father treating his wife as a vessel to be cherished, to be handled with care; to lead her like a lion but love her like a lamb. We get it the other way, we slaughter her with the things we say, we put her on the chopping block, you cuss out your very wife, not to mention how we cuss with [the] pickney,” he observed.
Holness, who was one of the main presenters at the event, said some fathers are guilty of telling their sons that they are worthless and they will come to no good. While noting that nothing is wrong with disciplining a child, he was quick to remind the men in attendance that they should show their children the way they should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from the instructions given.
“What are you showing them? What example are you setting for yourself as a
man? Every day we go on the road and we drive and for the most part, the bad driving on the road—who doing it? Us men. We make four lanes when there’s only one; red does not mean stop, it means go. I am so skilled that I miss the accident by the skin of my teeth and you laugh when you leave the scene.
Where are the men who will say no, no, no, no, this is not the right behaviour; this is not how I will treat the things God has given me? Where are the men who will stand for truth?” Holness asked.
Holness, a father and a banking executive who has led one of the Caribbean’s leading financial institutions for many years, is the co-founder of Yah’s Way. He and his wife Pastor Nicole Holness have mentored many couples and young people over the years.
The banker expressed concern that men will die if they continue along their current path of sin. He encouraged those in attendance at the conference to ensure they are in the right place with God.
“If you’re in that place, you must answer some questions in the affirmative. Does Jesus call the shots in my life? Yeah man. Is He the one who rules me when I am in my workplace, in my office? Is He the one who teaches me how to conduct myself when I am in the company of distinguished guests? Is He the one that controls my language? Some of us, all that spews from us is filthy language, filthy language, everything, every other word is a curse word. Is Jesus in that language?” Holness asked.
The Tarrant Baptist Church/Freedom Come Ministries International have been on a drive to get men to take back their rightful place in the family in light of concerns that fathers are being sidelined. They believe this is part of Satan’s strategy to destroy the family. Men are being encouraged to take dominion as God intended. Holness clarified that taking dominion does not mean a man should be harsh and abusive.
“We are supposed to be carriers of His [God’s] glory. Men don’t carry a womb; that’s what differentiates a man from a woman, but men ought to carry God’s glory. Wherever you go, you are to carry God’s glory. Why is it you think you have a big broad back, muscles, strong chest, [and] a posture that says I can carry weight? You carry the weight of God’s glory. Wherever you go, you must impact the space and the place that you are deposited,” Holness shared.
Photos by Dean Clarke
