Do you think that the term “friend” is loosely used? How would you define a real, true friend? Britannica defines friendship as “a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between two people.” Friendship is a close relationship between two or more people who care about and support each other. It also involves a bond where individuals share experiences, confide in each other, and offer emotional assistance to each other. A friendship is built on mutual respect.
Think about Genesis. Go all the way back to the beginning. Remember what God gave Adam? Acknowledging that it wasn’t good for man, i.e., human beings, to be alone, God gave Adam a companion—a friend. Adam’s friend Eve later became his wife. Friendship is a Biblical idea—a good idea created by God. (Genesis 2:20 AMP)
Fun Fact: Did you know that World Friendship Day is on July 30 annually?
QUALITIES OF A GODLY FRIEND
Do you ever wonder how God thinks you and your friends should treat each other? What does God’s Word, the Truth, say about friendship? What qualities define a true friend?
According to Proverbs 17:17, “a friend loves at all times.” In other words, we and our friends should love each other in every circumstance, i.e., through both favourable and difficult situations, through ‘thick and thin.’ Do you or your friend face personal difficulties or a challenge in your friendship? You should resolve to love each other inspite of the struggle being faced.
Perhaps the most important note about being a good friend is that a friend loves at all times. The Keyword is Love. What exactly does it look like to love our friends? According to 1 John 4:16, God is love. If God is love, then to love means to act in ways that demonstrate being like God.
Do you know what 1 Corinthians 13 says about love? “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud…” If this is what love (God) is like, then this is how we should be with our friends, too. Patient with them and willing to wait for them when they’re running late. Kind and considerate in how we treat, talk to, and even correct them. Grateful and happy whenever we see that they have what we would want for ourselves, and every other quality outlined in 1 Corinthians 13.
According to Romans 12:10, we and our friends should love and respect each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other. Like Jonathan was with David in the Bible, and vice versa, a real friend aims to be like God, i.e., compassionate, gentle, gracious, loyal, supportive, deeply devoted, forgiving, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast, unwavering love toward someone he or she calls their ‘friend.’
ONE WAY TO BE A REAL FRIEND
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)
Are you considering how to be a better friend? You’re not alone, and, as it does with all things, God’s Word provides guidance. An implication of 1 John 4:7 is that one way to become a better friend is to pursue intimacy with God. The more intimate you get with God/closer to Him, the more you realise that He is all love and desires for us to extend towards our friends, the same kind of grace that He extends toward us. Whenever you wonder about how to be a good friend, ask yourself, “What is God like?” Being like God with our friends is what it means to be a godly friend.
There is so much more to learn about friendship through God’s Word, including through friendships in the Bible like Jonathan and David’s, and Jesus’ with His disciples. These are examples of Godly friendships and have many teaching moments for us.
All the best in your friendships!
Youth S.O.U.L. is a youth programme for youth, by youth, and with Jesus. Tune in to TBC Radio at 88.5/.7/.9 on Fridays at 6 p.m. to hear each episode. You may also stream via online radio platforms.