By Sherian Grant
Throughout the years, men’s mental health has been overlooked almost as if it
doesn’t exist. Men are told that showing emotions makes them weak or that crying is for
females, so they keep everything bottled up. We know for a fact that men are the stronger
vessels in life, but that does not exempt them from experiencing trauma, hurt, or even betrayal.
Particularly men who were raised in a certain household were raised to not express
themselves as “real men should not cry,” right?
HOW SOME MEN DE-STRESS
I have had the privilege of asking my male friends what are some of the things that they do to
help with their mental health, and I got responses such as listening to music, writing, eating,
watching movies, praying, dancing, sports, worship, and even talking about what they are
going through. The point here is that men go through things, too, and need time to unwind as
well. Mental health issues don’t reside with any specific gender, and what’s sad is that men
may even have more severe experiences than women because they are told or expected not to express what they are feeling.
The mind is a very powerful tool, and whatever you feed it often becomes a reality.
In our Jamaican culture, men are told from an early age that “dem wutliss like dem pupa”, or the infamous “you naah come out to nuttn.” Can you imagine what that does to someone’s mind? They then start to believe those words spoken over their lives, and years later, the product of those words—trauma, hurt, and betrayal—come to fruition.
WHEN THE CUP IS FULL
Research has shown that men who suppress feelings of depression or sadness are angrier, more irritable, and have an increased loss of control.
Men tend to cope with their mental health issues by drinking or doing drugs, according to the Mental Health Foundation, 2021. Over time, these practices can lead to abusive relationships (both physically and emotionally), absentee fathers, and even suicide.
I believe that now more than ever, men’s mental health should be prioritised, along with making money, getting a house, or even starting a business – it’s that important. Men don’t often receive the emotional support that women do, and that stigma should be broken. It’s time that talking about feelings and emotions should be seen as a “normal thing” and not as a “weakling thing.”
But how can this stigma be broken? While it is good to “hol’ a reason” with another male comrade, a safe space should also be created where men can become vulnerable without being judged or feeling strange. Their thoughts, feelings, and tears matter, too, and I’m not referring to a man as in a male child, but I am talking about older males (teens and up).
More light needs to be shed on the reality of men’s mental health because we treat
it as though it were nonexistent. Platforms hosting panel discussions and/or therapy sessions
about men’s mental health can be a good place to start if we want to fully eradicate this
stigma. We need to recognise the importance of mental wellbeing and that vulnerability does not equate to weakness; pain and hurt must be dealt with in a healthy way.
In conclusion, men are not exempt from the injuries of pain and betrayal. It is natural
for a man to cry or even experience moments of vulnerability. Let us therefore provide the
outlets for men to express what they are feeling freely rather than bottling up those emotions,
because that causes more harm than good.
Men’s mental health matter, too.
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Contact Sherian at [email protected]. An author and mental health advocate, she is also Deputy Rep at the School of Hospitality and Tourism UTech, Ja. and Prayer Co-ordinator & Assistant Evangelism Co-ordinator – UTech, Ja. UCCF.
