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Busy But Blessed: Mother of special needs child coping with God’s help

Vanesia Bowden is a passionate advocate for special needs children, and she spends her time coaching parents, ensuring they are better able to cope and raise their children to be successful.

A neurodiversity, disability, and special needs specialist; a pharmacist; an educator and trainer; and a bestselling author and speaker, she has her hands full, carrying out all these roles she is engaged in.

However, she would not change a thing, and each is special to her as they all see her impacting lives through not just her training but also her commitment to serving the Lord and using her skill to show the love of Christ while helping them.

Bowden’s own life and circumstances gave birth to her passion for special needs children, as she is the mother of two beautiful children, one of whom was diagnosed with a neurodivergent condition, specifically ADHD. By the end of the pandemic, she said, he had developed strong autistic traits.

She will be the first to share that parenting a child with any special needs is not an easy task, especially in cases where the diagnosis can’t be seen, as in her son’s case.

“I had some suspicions of both ADHD and autism; however, it is not a revelation I was prepared for, and I don’t think any parent would be, especially in our society, when such a diagnosis comes with great shame and fear. My greatest fear was that my child would be mistreated and stigmatised his whole life,” she shared with Freedom Come Rain.

That knowledge saw her growing increasingly quiet and crying day and night. It was a heavy burden she carried, leaving her with a lot of questions for God.

“Thankfully, I have experienced and will continue to experience God’s divine healing and reconciliation on the matter. See, my promised-purpose child was promised to me many years before his conception. So, when I encountered these challenges, I was left with many questions. But God knows exactly what we need and how we need it. He has revealed to me that my promise-purposed child, my son, is not only promised and purposed, but the promise and purpose are twofold, extending to me as well. So, I am confident that serving this community is included in my divine destiny,” she stressed.

Bowden, who grew up in rural St. James, enjoys reading, writing, baking, and decorating. Speaking from her experience, she said she doesn’t think society really understands the concept of neurodiversity, disability, or special needs.

She noted that there are people who will attempt to empathise, but when it comes to daily living, they are not for it. However, she is long past the stage where she would take offence with this attitude and states that she actually understands and would appreciate less judgement and shame.

“Many parents with children diagnosed with a special need are already doing their best; they do their research, and they go above and beyond to find the right solution for their situation. It benefits no one to pass judgements and rude comments. You will find some of the most attentive and intentional parents to be parents of these children; all they need is some support, be it in the form of accessing resources or just having someone who understands,” Bowen pointed out.

Speaking as a mother and having to cope with raising her child, she said her greatest coping strategy has been her faith.

She has made the choice to believe what God says; she prays scripture over her family, and she chooses to trust God with the results.

“Children are God’s heritage, and I choose to partner with him in raising my children. Over the years, I have learned and will continue to learn to transform my worries into prayers. Now, living this reality is not easy every day; it is a conscious decision I make daily. Sometimes, I have to go moment by moment, but God has always provided emotionally, spiritually, and physically,” were her impassioned words. 

For parents who are faced with the same challenge of raising special needs children, her words of encouragement are for them to partner with God in parenting, as she quotes that for her, it has been the most transformational decision of her parenting journey.

Bowden, following her own journey of parenting a special needs child, felt a conviction from God that she should capture her insight and experience in a book on parenting children with neurodivergent conditions such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, etc.; disability; and special needs.

“I said, God, really? You want me to do this? At first, it was a bit challenging to accept, but the more I prayed and spent time in his presence, the more I became certain this was what he wanted, and so I got started. I worked with Crystal Daye as a book coach and got the book written. Even while writing the book, I faced many spiritual attacks; had I not been confident God wanted me to do this, I would have stopped,” she highlighted.

That book is now a reality and is entitled Embracing Possibilities, Nurturing Children with Special Needs, which she said is meant to be a companion for parents and caregivers of special needs children.

“After actively reading, parents and caregivers would embrace their parenting journey with a growth mindset, nurture their children’s’ strengths, feel confident in making decisions for their children, learn to advocate for their children, and learn where to access needed resources,” she shared.

She urged parents to dream with God for and on behalf of their children. She points out that those who choose God’s will, will have many challenges, but God delivers.

“I believe with my whole being that if we are diligent in sowing and do not get weary in well-doing, God will accomplish his purposes in us and through us.”

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