Come December 14, Patrick and Sandra Sinclair will be celebrating 35 years of marriage, and the two are still as excited about their romance as they were when they first fell in love as teenagers.
Now living in the United States, the Sinclairs grew up in neighbouring communities in Jamaica — Savannah and Raymonds in Clarendon. However, as close as the communities were, they never exchanged a word.
Patrick attended Glenmuir High School, while Sandra went to Clarendon College. During their journeys to school in the mornings, Sandra would occasionally notice him walking past her house, but she never spoke to him.
Things changed a few years later — in 1985, to be exact — when they happened to board the same minivan heading to May Pen. Sandra boarded first, and Patrick joined further down the road. When the bus reached its stop in May Pen and the two exited, their eyes locked. Sandra laughed as she told Freedom Come Rain that there was definitely a connection.
He smiled at her, and she responded, changing the impression he had of her as being “standoffish.”
Patrick, with a smile, said the connection was so strong that he was not going to let her escape without showing her that she had “tickled his fancy.”
He stopped her in her tracks as she hurried on her way by striking up a conversation.
“After that encounter, I chose every occasion to walk by her house and stop at her gate just so we could talk,” he shared.
He took it a step further and asked for her work number. Once he got it, he called her several times a day.
“Honestly, I found her to be one of the most genuine, gentle, and sweetest persons I could ever meet. She aroused such special feelings in me that I had to tell my mother about her. I knew she was the one,” he related.
Each visit and every conversation convinced Patrick that he had already found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had never felt that way about anyone else, and after 34 years of marriage, nothing has changed.
In fact, with a laugh, he corrected himself. Something had changed — his feelings had become even more intense, and he was even more in love with her. The tender look from his wife Sandra said it all; the feeling was reciprocated.
The path of true love always has some hiccups, and Patrick and Sandra encountered theirs when, a few years into their romance, Sandra decided she wanted to attend teachers’ college. This meant they would only be able to see each other on weekends.
All of Sandra’s fears were allayed as Patrick proved that distance truly “makes the heart grow fonder,” calling her every day after classes.
“I remember lying on my bed in the evenings, waiting for someone to shout out my name and running down to the common room to take the phone call. Sometimes during the day, when I had a free period, I would make a collect call to him on the payphone. He would travel to my school on a Saturday to spend the day with me, or I would go home, and that was virtually every weekend,” Sandra reminisced.
Sandra shared that she had no doubts whatsoever about choosing Patrick as her life partner. She had “butterflies” in her stomach then, and today she still does whenever she thinks about him.
The Sinclairs will tell you that maintaining a marriage requires intentionality and hard work. Although they love and respect each other, there were times when they had to learn to compromise and make the deliberate choice to ensure their union remained a safe place.
Although they had their differences and sometimes did not see eye to eye, they ensured that the lines of communication between them were never broken, allowing for the quick resolution of any disagreement.
“We have learned that listening is a skill that needs to be included in marriage. Hence, we listen to each other, and for us, there is no problem in apologising to each other. Pride is not a vice we cultivate between ourselves,” Sandra informed.
Sandra laughed as she told Freedom Come Rain that they seemed to have switched mothers. She shared a bond of love and respect with Patrick’s mother, while her husband enjoys the same status with her mother, who sometimes confides in her son-in-law more than in her own daughter.
If Patrick and Sandra were to share the secret to keeping the flames of love alive, it would be simple:
“Pray, play, eat at least one meal together, and act silly with each other daily. We love, respect, and admire each other and have the same goals and desires. Apart from the fact that we deeply love and trust each other, we are best friends who actually like each other. These truths, along with our three children, bind us together.”
